Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
What did we do last night that was yellow?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
