I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
What drink are we having for lunch?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
