I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
