Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There r osticjed everywhere
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
