Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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