Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
