ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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