so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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