She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
