you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
