he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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