is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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