You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
