Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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