Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
