Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
