I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
