new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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