so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
