that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
