i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
