yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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