...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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