I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
