Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
