Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
two words: eviction party
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
