Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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