What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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