i always forget guys have bellybuttons
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
