Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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