arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
