and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
