I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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