Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
