Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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