Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
