So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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