Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
