I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Randomize
