i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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