exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Randomize
