Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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