i just had sex bonerless
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
