His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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