Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
