Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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