She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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