My hand turned me down
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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