Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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