We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
