piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
